Lots of you, especially those on the Ship member's area have been WONDERING why I keep using the word "cuckling" as opposed to chucklin.
Which I cannot do enough of these days it seems, both chuckling all the way to the bank and also at the "prime cut of meat" out there - in terms of being a Bozo "par excellence".
Or, wanker par excellence.
Anyway, we're talking Bozo Schofield here.
And here is the latest rant he sent me (well, he sent this a couple of weeks back, but I am only mentioning it now).
Remember, this is the same dude that messages women out of the ass - night, I mean, wanting them to "keep him as his servant" - to "press feet" - to "carry her shopping", and so forth, and he usually badgers them with this out of the blue, and when they obviously call him a jackass and decline, he goes to his "Mr Hyde" act and spews vile abuse.
All on the books and the record. Hehe.
And a guy that is notorious for paying ladies of the night in China big bucks to ....
... stick his tongue where the sun dont shine, and do precious little else.
Indeed, thats why despite the cash he stole from friends to do this this "thief par excellence" has little to show in terms of any actual relationship.
Let's take a look here (and remember, drink your coffee, or you'll spit this out on your keyboard).
You are a typical beta cuckold and we know you write books on it. Seeing a real man entering your wife turns on you creepy little twat.
I will be laying hands on you and fuking you up, then having your wife suck me off thank me.
Stay safe fugly.
Normally, you'd think this sort of thing would make someone's blood boil, but for me?
I couldn't stop laughing.
This poor Bozo is self projecting in a manner that truly beggars belief.
And of course, he never did mention "where those lovely books are that I write on erotica".
Glyn, do send me the link if you're reading it and I'll post it right HERE. Hehe. Might as well mint more money off it! (more than I already AM).
But this exact same thing was something he once posted in a group in a drunken manner.
And then when I told him the next day that "Hey, Glyn, fetishes are normal - we ALL have 'em" - he denied it SO vociferiously that I knew I was right. I had hit the SPOT. Hehe.
Not that spot, Glyn, lol.
I mean MENTALLY - I touched a nerve, hence your reaction.
Anyway, what does all of this have to do with you, you ask?
It is this, my friend.
In life, fitness, anything - remember - be YOU.
And do so UNAPOLEGETICALLY.
The Bozo tries to hide, hide, hide, and all the while his deep desires never go away, do they?
Same thing with YOU, and fitness my friend.
You know the gyms aren't giving you the results you want.
Yet, you continue to patronize them because "your friends and everyone else says" .
You continue to lift weight because the so called "shamus gurus" say "it's the real deal".
You contnue to get fatter, have less energy, the man tits keep expanding, and your INNER VOICE tells you to STOP - and do something DIFFERENT.
That something different, my friend is my producs and courses.
I've truly got something for everyone, and my results speak for themselves.
A ONE time investment, and value for your entire life . . .
Really, listen up bro.
There is nothing to be ashamed of if you secretly want to ape me and do pull-ups.
NOthing to be ashamed of, if, as Charles Mitchell, a great customer once said "I can't do fingertip pushups as well as you!"
Absolutely nothing at all!
We ALL want it.
We have ALL been there.
And we including yours truly - we have ALL learnt by standing on the shoulders of GIANTS.
Fitness wise,tom tomming aside, that is me my friend.
I leave up to YOU!
As a great customer once said "the bodyweight exercise guru is WAITING for you".
But he won't crawl over broken glass to beg you to DO the thing, thats for sure!
PS - I mentioned this to my lovely "significant other" and she giggled in that sage way only women can.
If he wants to tangle with an angry ape, so be it.
And yeah. I'd rather be called an ape or "Da Xing Xing" than a cuck, hehe.
PS #2 - Think Schofield is the only nutjob out there? Think AGAIN.
Here is what a guy from Nanjing in China told me on Facebook a year or so ago when I still used it .. .(I was promoting Gorilla Grip).
"I build a strong gorilla grip by choking the gorilla daily".
I'll leave the rest up to your imagination. LOL. But really, another reason why I quit social media - it's right there!
Anyway, my friend, don't "choke the chicken".
Do as Rocky did - and CHASE it.
You'll build stamina like NEVER BEFORE.
And it left me torched, my friend - well, somewhat torched, and while most of that was due to the ape like workout I did yesterday, this contributed.
Speaking of which, the looks I'm getting with my chest bursting out of my shirt these days (literally, I've been on a shopping spree for new T shirts and shorts - the former is too tight around the upper body, and billows around the waist, and the latter - well, I'm dropping ANOTHER size!) ... and giving away old stuff etc (well, trying to - but I managed to give a lot of it away) (no I dont do it for money) ... I'm starting to look more and more like an APE.
An actual ape.
As I once told my little girl years ago when monkeys showed up at the park where I was training, and the entire populace scattered like roaches in light.
Scurried, I should say, much like what happens in China when even a DROP of rain falls ... the entire country RUSHES for cover.
God Forbid even a tiny drop of rain ... ah, but Schofield knows a lot about tiny drops. LOL.
Anyway - I told my daughter this.
"They don't mess wth me!" I laughed. "They just think it's another monkey monkeying around!"
And they didnt, actually. One look at me, and the monkeys take off for other more interesting pastures - people with backpacks, food etc.
Reminds of me of "Manki Point" I visited in Kasuali, INdia in 2009 or so I believe.
A monkey snatched a lady's handbag STRAIGHT out of her hand and she emittted a yowl louder than the Bozo does every night when he ...ah. I'll stop. LOL.
(But he's on a bender again, from what I gather from friends).
Anyway, so I got done with an EQUIPMENT based short workout for a change (other than the chinning bar, though I'm abotu to go hit that soon too).
No, Bozo, not "that sort of hit to the backside".
But this workout, my friend was something that Teddy Roosevelt did in the White House years back - or a variant of it.
And truth be told, it left my triceps and upper abs BUZZING.
Most people, even "fit people" CANNOT do the ab roller well when they first start.
In fact, if you try rolling it out fully, you'll likely crash flat on your face.
And if you're too FAT - then you'll shake like most do when they first get into the table position shown in Pushup Central - except in reverse. Like a maple leaf in Toronto, or something like that.
Or, the handles will BREAK as you do 'em (so remember, if you get this equipment which I highly recommened, please do not "infest the thrift stores" and hang around in alleys etc waiting for handouts, or "20 dollar you know what offers" like Bozo Schofield does).
Please DO get it from a decent fitness store ...
But anyway, and back to being overweight.
Or, you won't be able to do it, period!
And my friend, there are literally so many variant workouts you can do with this that Ic ould write a book on this alonel I might just do that, actually....
But anyway, Lumberjack Fitness will contain THIS equipment amongst many others.
And it's a book almost done, but the computer has got a touch of the Bozo too apparently from afar, and once things calm down on that front, I'll have it out to YOU!
I know MANY of you are anxiously awaiting it.
So am I.
Patience, grasshopper - good things come to those that wait, hehe. They truly DO!
But on that note, there is an exercise even better than the ab roller (which if done right along with other stuff, will give you the ripped ab look within a few days flat and leave your ENTIRE BODY torched within a few minutes).
The "extended" arm pushup shown in Pushup Central.
Then again, they're all special.
But even GETTING into position in that one is so tough that I wouldn't recommend you try it until you get good - damn good - at some of the other variants therein.
And it requires no equipment, obviously, but is modeled on the same action.
And if you mix and match these two - oh - my.
Speaking of which, I'm off to do just that.
PS - The Bozo claimed "A book in pishups. Really! Boring ... Badly written too!"
Find out for yourself right HERE, hehe.
PS #2 - for you marketers out there, the Bozo is possibly truly manna from Heaven (or others like him). LOL! Feel free to mention him in your newsletters too (from what I see someone already DID, hehe). The more the merrier, as his one time friend Charles (who he trolls being "Charlie Bandana" or Charles Rutherford the XXV) said, LOL.
PPS - (edit) NO mention of ab training would be complete without the BEST damn course on ABS right HERE - Corrugated Core. Check it out NOW.
Received a great, great question from Gary in the U.S. (Montana??) on "rep numbers" when doing high rep bodyweight stuff.
He had other questions too, but I'll post the relevant one here -
(He's a "Zero to Hero!" buyer, so his other questions were in that regard)
"If I do 500 push-ups daily - when I can. Which is better.
Or, should I aim for doing more pulluups till Iget to my goal?"
And that was his question - and it's a great one!
(His goal in terms of pull-ups is 100 pull-ups a day, and he's bought the first book on pull-ups i.e. Pull-ups from DUD to STUD within a matter of WEEKS!)
Now, this is a great question again!
Back in the day when I was "el Tubbo", I used to do 500 pushups.
I set a goal to do them daily.
I didnt quite get there daily, but in 30 days (it was a month long goal) Id say I cranked out 500 on at least 25 or 26 of those days in my living room in the winter
I'd be sopping with sweat.
And I'd do them slower than I do now (in the 0 Excuses Fitness System I pound out 250 like nothing in 20 minutes flat, but remember - I didnt know what I do now back then - and remember - I was much fatter back then!) but I still DID 'em.
Pull-ups, I would do maybe 20-30 and be done with it.
I'd do 'em on thick bars outside . . .
In itself, this is a great lesson of who is truly big and who is truly FAT.
Or, a myth buster that "fat" guys cannot get in shape by doing tons of pull-ups.
But anyway, so if I had to choose?
Both great goals, both will get you in great shape.
If I had to choose?
Well, it's like a choice (my daughter once posed this question) - if I had to choose BEER or my daughter, which would I.
"Of course you, honey", I responded.
"But ... thats like asking me if I had to choose between breathing or drinking water!"
Of course, it isn't like that, but it is - sort of!
Same thing HERE.
BOTH goals should be there in your mind.
BOTH exercises should be uppermost, first and foremost!
And aim to get good - damn good - at BOTH!
Having said all that, if it's 500 pushups, ultimately, those make you stronger overall in a way pull-ups can't, and tax the entire body in a way pull-ups cannot, so I'd have to choose that
But tough one!
100 pull-ups a day gives you grip and core work like pushups - well, the grip part - and upper back part - and the PULLING MOTION cannot really replicate.
So, I dont know!
Do BOTH is what I would say ..
Last but not least, there is no "equivalent".
People say "1 pull-up equals 10 pushups" in terms of strength.
No it doesn't. It doesn't the other way around either.
Drop these asinine notions if you got 'em my friend.
I can make ONE pull-up tougher than a hundred press ups, or FIVE, an accepted number in "Jim Shim La La World" pushups way tougher than 50 pull-ups.
And so it goes, my friend.
Great question though - thanks for sending it in!
In the meantime, remember that Pushup Central is really starting to ROCK my friend.
PIck it up now - and remember, please, please, PLEASE leave reveiws - honest and genuine ones. I dont so much "want" 5 star reviews as HONEST reviews.
(Of course, if you think I'm the Michelin of Fitness like some customers and great trainees do - then by all means - click those 5 stars!).
PS - Here is the link again for Pushup Central. A must grab!!
And not so much my favorite animal (well, favorite BIG cat I should say) - the tiger.
Favorite animal are the mighty GRIZZLY and the tiger both!
Jaguars and leopards too - I love 'em, especially the former, and more on that later.
Cheetahs for some reason I never took a fancy to. Many bestselling authors have though - most notably James Hadley Chase who wrote the classic book "The Vulture is a patient bird" about a madman recluse deep in South Africa (the jungle) - and a diamond that a group of city slickers along with a gorgeous dame attempt to retrieve.
The Jewel of Borgia, or something it was. A jewel into which you could insert poison and then twist, and within 12 hours the person would die.
Or pass, on, whichever.
But the madman in the book had a cheetah right next to him - and this seems to have been copied by many a Bollywood potboiler too, where the baddies for whatever reason seem to love cheetahs.
Dont get me wrong.
It's a bad ass, sure. It can run like the wind!
And I could have put the cheetah on the cover of the book and made a ton more sale sthan I do now, but I WON'T.
Well, first a bit on the much over hyped in my opinion LION.
My buddy Vincent and me have an ongoing argument about who would win between a tiger and a lion.
I say a tiger any day of the week.
He used to say that too, but he saw a match in Thailand or someplace where the tiger got it's butt kicked, but that was just one match, I keep telling him.
Tigers are the KING of the jungle in my opinion, lions a distance second - and the male lions are downright LAZY, I'd say.
They don't even live int he jungle!
All looks and no "roar" (against the tiger that is, of course!).
But anyway, I still remember a visit to the zoo back in the day.
Mr White Tiger was sleepily staring at visitors through the enclosure.
(but dont be fooled - a madman jumped into the enclosure, and he was a goner almost instantly - true story in India).
Mr. Lion was a huge male lion literally snoring after a massive meal I'd imagine. And he was least bothered or interested by the visitors gaggling at him.
But the jaguar.
Locked up in a steel cage for whatever reason, and I felt for this magnificent BEAST !!
The tiger is the KING.
The lion is proably the laziest.
The Jaguar though my friend is just a MEAN mean cat - and you can see it in its eyes!
Even BABY Jaguars look like they're ready to pounce and do what they do best - KILL!
The tiger has a spiritual look to it.
The jaguar - nothing doing!
That damn thign roared at me through the cage, and I felt awe and a CHILL (in a good way) go up my spine.
NOW THATS what I BE TALKING ABOUT!
The real deal!
And jaguars, my friend, are probably the perfect example of strength, speed and stealth in a small(er) package - not to mention I believe they have the strongest bite force amongst the big cats ...
And the speed ... the DEMON SPEED!
I dont know.
But the "mean come GET IT!" vibe I get off those lovely jaguars is in part what caused me to name it after these royal beasts.
And that, my frind is that.
Train like a cat and do the uphill sprints - and YOU too will understand what it means like to be SUPREMELY fit - and feeling like a WILD CAT ready to pounce all day long!
PS - Not to mention, if you're one of the types that loves to burn the candle at both ends, then you absolutely DO NEED that course!
Which one should we start with first?
Well, lets start with the first first.
Remember the nutjob who claimed my book on isometrics, the "missing link" that connects all my other great books - and an awesome book in it's own regard (indeed, this book will teach YOU the SECRETS the old timers used to build their prodigous strength beyond belief) was "too expensive" because the "quality of pictures was poor"?
Or some such rot ...
Here is the comment again -
Honestly, one of the worst fitness ebooks I've ever read (and I've read quite a few); it's a simple bunch of static stretches and bodyweight exercises. A shallow recommended programming, and the photos quality is simply unwatchable. And never, never all of this for € 46!
Well, well, well.
As I said before in another post - how dare I put out a book on isometrics that does just that i.e. talk about isometrics.
Lets take the definition of isometrics again ...
An isometric exercise is a form of exercise involving the static contraction of a muscle without any visible movement in the angle of the joint.
How dare I, hehe.
How dare I put out information that was good for the Great Gama, Alexander Zass, Bruce Lee, and many others...
But his main beef wasn't with the course.
What he really meant was this a) too expensive and b) "you took the pictures at home and didnt hire Sylvester Stallone's make up artist, producer, director, and an entire crew to take the pictures, make it purdy and so forth".
What a joker!
Now, we've covered the price part before.
(btw - I dont know where he got the "46 Euro" price from!)
Simply put, as an awesome customers, one of the very BEST, John from the UK said .
"You cannot put a price on knowledge".
And then, "fitness books are about the information, not the typos or lack thereof"
(The first in response to the price thang, the second for Animal Kingdom Workouts)
But in Mamma Mia (the commenter)'s case, he was really upset about the "looking like a movie star" guy not taking movie star pictures.
I mean really.
Lets get REAL FOLKS!
These courses ain't about looking like a pretty boy!
And hence, this comment on Corrugated Core ...
This is functional core training, not your usual get "buffed for the beach" nonsense.
This is hardcore training for a hard core, if you're after performance above pretty, then this is for you.
Sure, some of my books - such as Advanced Hill Training have pictures taken outdoors.
So does Battletank Shoulders.
But some dont. Corrugated Core for one.
If it can be done indoors, why go outside?
Is that not the entire point of the 0 Excuses Fitness System for one? (i.e. the ability to get in workouts anyplace, any time - and with NO Excuses?)
Anyway, for those interested, no, I won't be hiring any make up artists in the near future. The girls dont seem to mind it, and if the guys do, well, thats ok. LOL.
And in any case, getting back to it - fitness books are about the knowledge. INFORMATION!
(not information about turning into a movie star, heh)
Anyway, lets get to DOMS now.
I've spoken about my legs being sorer than SORE - HECK - by doing 500 Hindu squats a couple of days before?
And it's really hitting me now, hehe.
For some reason I get DOMS more than the next person does ...
And this info I'm about to give you is just as applicable to heavy weight squatters (you should not be doing that in the first place) as it is bodyweight trainees, or the average ole couch potato that jumped off his perch (and hasn't in years) and climbed a hill like yours truly did with Ann Lee back in the day.
And it left me hammered for DAYS.
Anyway, right now it's mostly thighs.
And it's nowhere near the soreness most people get when they START out with Hindu Squats, when they can barely WALK the next day after 40.
I've seen grown men that can squat kangaroos and elephants in the gym COLLAPSE the next day. Literally!
(dont know why the "roo" came to mind, hehe).
Maybe because of it's prodigous LEG strength!
But anyway, exercises #11, 12, 14, 16 and 17 in the book on isometrics address the legs specifically, and will literally stretch out any soreness you have within the space of less than a minute.
And that, my friend is yet another benefit of this wonderful, wonderful and once in a lifetime course.
That being - getting back to it - ASAP!
We all hate missing workouts as much as the next person - and I'm sure you know what I mean here.
PS - Remember to pick up the perfect complement to this course HERE.
Way back in the day, at the age of 17 one of the possibly most humiliating things that can happen to a teenager happened to yours truly.
We were in P.E. class, a class I was stubborn enough to take despite advice to the contrary to take "some study related class" if you get my drift.
Yours truly rebellious didnt have the confidence growing up physically - and the reasons have been well outlined in posts before, so I doubt there is a reason to get into that (again) here.
Lets say our "earliest influences" have a LOT in terms of either building/destroying confidence in any regard!
And for some of us, we pick up VIBRATIONS more than others do.
Anyway, it was final exam.
I still remembe the instructor making us RUN - a sum total of two rounds or so on a soccer field - in hot weather granted, but today, at the age of 40 plus, I'd jog around that damn field in my sleep.
I could barely make it HALFWAY around and neither could a lot of my friends (though they did better than me) at the age of almost 17, and I was sore for ...DAYS later!
FRom a gentle jog!
But the pinnacle of humiliation was to come later when it was time to throw the shot put, and given their natural size advantage, the boys naturally threw further than the girls.
Yours truly threw it ...and it landed ...well short of the mark.
And it was a WEAKER throw than many of the other girls!
Rajinder a friend of mine nudged me "desperately".
Come on Rahul! You gotta throw further than the girls at least!
He was right.
but I tried, and couldn't!
Humiliating to a T ...
Well - it's the polar opposite. I can do things men half my age or less couldn't even DREAM of doing.
And though it was really the pushup that got me started on my "strength and conditioning" journey and the HILL - the ONE exercise that really caused the muscles to GROW and the strengh to really ROLLICK was handstand pushups.
That story is mentioned all on the Shoulders like Boulders! page - a must grab for you shoulder fanatics and upper body strength/conditioning guys too! out there.
And on a side note, my daughter came home today after whooping some ASS in the park (apparently - I wasn't there - so I dont know).
But apparently she whooped ass, and while apparently there was "no real reason" to get physical with the dude, she did anyway.
Reminds of me of years ago when a dude her age slapped her for no reason.
She started crying.
I was there.
Dude's Dad was there.
And I walked STRAIGHT up to the Dad and took my daughter with me.
"Honey, give him one!"
She looked at me.
"But, Dad ....!"
Just do it, I said.
Dude burst into tears.
Dude's Dad glowered at me, but he knew his son was in the wrong.
And off they went.
I'd rather my daughter err on the side of caution my friend. I've been hammered way too many times in school and told "not to be violent". There is no way I'll let my daughter suffer the same fate.
Oh, and I did "quietly" watch the WWE even when my ass was beat ragged (not really, hehe - a normal ass whipping really) and I was told not to. Some things you gotta do, especially the attitude era.
Reminds me of what Uncle Bob said to me when an idiot doctor told me not to go swimming (this doctor had a belly bigger than Croseus by the way and he was a "general health doctor") to "let my liver recover or some nonsense".
Dont know about the beer, Bob said. But the swimming? A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
Anyway, that kiddie story above is mentioned in Kiddie Fitness - and you know one more thing?
When the trolls troll it big time, you know it's GOOD.
Grab it now for your kids - the gift of fitness (much like the gift of GAB, hehe) is the gift that NEVER EVER Stops giving!
PS - Shoulder workouts available in COMPILATION format (both courses + the FAQ) HERE.
Should be rule #1 on attracting women (a certain nutjob Thomas should read this!) or what you want in LIFE, hehe, especially given what I wrote about in the last two posts.
But this one isn't about women. sorry!
This is about ... well, FITNESS.
Murli, a friend of mine once told me in 2008 that "he used to be HARD before".
Actually, he said this (he was a lard lump at that stage, but he's lost a CRAPLOAD of weight ever since - KUDOS Sir!!)
"Rahul, I used to play cricket before! My muscles used to be hard all the time!"
Now, I understood what he meant.
But he was wrong big time on one thing, and in his new slim and trim, possibly "sexy" avatar, now, he probably KNOWS it. Hehe.
That muscles are NOT, I repeat, NOT supposed to be hard and bloated all the time like the boobybuilders showing off at the Jim Shim
Muscles are supposed to be like LIFE itself.
FLUID, yes strong!
And thats what I just asked my daughter.
"Are you soft, or TOUGH", I asked, while pinching her adorably soft cheeks.
She glared back.
Gorilla to the CORE, hehe. And I love it!
Im both soft and TOUGH, Dad!
And as if to prove it, there she was in the handstand again, and now she's playing the GUITAR. Hehe. ROCK ON!
Gotta love a kid like that.
But really, lesson from this one is plainly stated, so for the preeners and posers out there - there it BE.
PS - Are you a chicken or GORILLA? We'll address that soon enough too, hehe. I'm indeed in RARE Form today, hehe, as Marc would say!
Before the flames and hems and haws start coming in, let me tell you the following ...
This email is NOT about doing pull-ups willy nilly, and how those muscles look oh so sleek against his skin ... (though that might help to a degree).
It ain't about the mental part of things - and that bro is the MOST IMPORTANT - I repeat - the most important - by far - you can be a fuddy duddy in all regards, but have your mental game down pat, and you'd still be getting more than the studs at the gym if they dont have their game down pat, and most dont.
It sure isn't about the Kamasutra either, for those wondering. No tantric "shantric" methods, no tai chi to work your balls, no this and that rubbish, no special herbs to get your little brother standing up SMART and tall, and so forth.
Maybe that's important too, I dont know. Given the number of "men" that take Viagara, I'd imagine it is and it's a real problem and I could probably tell these people how to solve it, but I won't.
Lets also cuts past the SALES "shales" on this one.
Let me give it to you STRAIGHT.
Physcially, what most women do NOT want is the following.
- Big flabby bellies hanging over your midsection.
- An unnatural six or twelve pack.
- Muscles that belong on Mr. Olympia and look like they are about to burst out of your shirt (and yet can't, ah, but we wont go there)
- STUDS in the gym - and DUDS in bed (studs at pull-ups too, you might argue, hehe, but I'm yet to see a single stud at pull-ups who fits that category!)
- Massive bloated chest muscles.
- Pelican legs (possibly the most massive turn off)
- And calves that look like they belong on a chicken (I know, but believe me, it's true).
Again, mental is most important, but we're talking PHYSICAL things here.
Ask any woman, my friend, and you'll know the above is true.
She will probably give you a "laundry list" of the rest of the things I haven't said here too, hehe.
Dont get me - or them - LOL - started.
But really, point of me saying this is most men train for looks, which ain't how it should be, but whatever.
Can't preach to the choir.
Or should I say, can't convert those that dont wanna be ...
So, if you train just for looks, and have the bloat, the puff, the buff, the muscles, and you're still, well, unable to ... you know?
Well, obviously what you're doing ain't workign my friend.
And thats all I gotta say on this one.
Not a single link in this here email either. Hehe. For a reason!
PS - The ONLY other thing I'd say is if what you're NOT doing is what works, and you know it, maybe it's time to drop the pretence of being "a real man pumping weights at the JIm Shim" and get on the REAL STRENGTH TRAIN - NOW?
I'd say yes ... (and no, I wont be introducing women to anyone, male, female or in between on this list, or any list! I mean, really. The things these idiots (some of 'em) think of! LOL)
As I sit here, I can literally "feel" my food digesting.
Yes, my friend. I can ... and this feeling isn't as odd as it sounds when you finally "crack it".
And I dont mean cracking Bozo Humpty Glyn Schofield "el trollo"'s fragile shell as well.
In fact, my foot might connect with none other than his HUMP very soon, hehe. I'm getting tired of dealing with this idiot (but on one hand, I welcome it, because it brings me sales. INdeed a conundrum, hehe).
Humps? The Bozo likely has his face and everything else buried in a rather nasty smelly one right as of now ...
As Charles rightly said (not to me, hehe) (but in the GROUP) "Sometimes, women want more, you Bozo!"
I will leave it at that, but rest assured, that was a true comment he made (sans the Bozo which I added on. He said "Glyn").
Ah, the Bozo and the things I know without YOU KNOWING it.
Wasn't it a few days after that I got the picture?
And then of course the floodgates opened. SO BE IT!
But anyway, back to it.
The 0 Excuses Fitness System is the ONE exercise system, my friend that fits the "anywhere anytime" moniker very perfectly, even if I say so myself.
For obvious reasons - all you need is some space, a bit of a room or park, or what not, even a bit of office floor, and you're set.
Basically you need a wall, floor, and space to swing your arms, and thats it.
I believe we can ALL get those, even Bozos locked up in straightjacket Hannibal style cells?
But there ARE some times I wouldn't advocate doing an intense 0 Excuses Fitness System workout.
And one of those is right after eating, especially gorging as I just did.
(Eating more, weighing LESS as I say, hehe). (but those workouts in that book cannot and should not be done right after eating)
And while what I ate is not important, the fact is I stuffed myself full of it. To the gourd.
I was the first off the table as well.
And along with "right before bedtime", these are the two times I wouldn't advocate a 0 Excuses Fitness INTENSE workout.
What would I do - if at all ?
Well, the workouts in Isometric and Flexibility Training fit this moniker to a T, bro.
I just did two of the poses from that book, and I'm BUZZING with ENERGY.
No downtime after eating, and I ate nothing special.
I ate carbs too.
And probably a bit of fattoo.
And all that.
But again - - I'm BUZZING like never before!
Sure, I didnt go upside down, and I wouldn't recommend that either.
Other than that, rest assured these are workouts that will TAX you - and yet - you CAN do 'em WHENEVER you choose, including right after you eat (just dont be surprised if you gotta use the loo shortly thereafter, hehe).
And mark my words.
Many feel "tired" after eating, or lethargic.
I remember many a "Mr Tiger" feeling that way, and it sleeps. HEhe.
Well, you can sleep if you want to.
But if not, just TRY some of the stretches and static pushes and pulls right after a meal, my friend, or even right before you go to sleep.
Insomina? Bye Bye
Bye bye, forever.
Weak tendons? BYE!
The key to touching your nose in the handstand pushup (to the floor) isn't what you might think either, my friend.
And without futther ado, jump on this great, great book now.
You'll love it!
PS - Stay tuned for MORE from yours truly.
And I don’t mean the actual writing phase.
That, my friend, happens LIGHTNING quick – think 20,000 words per day or more once I’m IN THE FLOW.
With typos galore, hehe
Nah. I do spell check my books!
(But the odd one might get thru, and so be it).
But really, a friend (or a contact, I might say?) asked me this a couple of - - well, no, more than that – in APRIL last year actually.
“Rahul, WHEN will the book on animal kingdom workouts be out? It’s been a while already! “
he’s a good man.
I get his question.
But see, here’s the thing fella.
With me, EVERYTHING is a matter of flow and taking it as it comes.
I do attach importance to deadlines, but many things in life I never actually SET ONE.
So that book that I say will come out “tomororw” might be next month, or next year.
Way back in the day, I wrote the pathbreaking and GREAT book on pull-ups that has been getting people from DUD level at pull-ups to a bonafide STUD, cranking them out EFFORTLESSLY.
Really, my friend. It has!
Check out the reviews for it.
And I didn’t do much else to the book other than let it sit. I always knew there was MORE that could be added, but I didn’t.
Years later, SIX years actually, and a ton of experience down the line, I added what I had to without planning for it or thinking about it.
I just did it.
IT just happened.
And thats the key here.
EVERYTHING I give you is tried and tested and WILL Work unless you’re a “Bozo that has never worked out in his life (no, tongue and forearm workouts on wankers doesn’t count Sco) and has NO intention of doing anything productive with your life in general”.
In that case, no, what I Tell you won’t work.
But for almost everyone else, including those with some sort of preexisting medical condition, my stuff will work miracles -0 because guess what.
All tried, tested, dusted and DONE - -before I bring it to YOU!
Por ejempelo, the book on REVERSE pushups – which is not only getting rave testimonials, but making people feel GREAT – and “rolling back the years as it were”.
And so it was with Animal Kingdom Workouts.
The 68 exercises and 10 BOOTY kicking workouts came after a lot of DOING bro.
And until that point is reached, I simply ain’t gonna sell it.
Once it is, I WILL Sell it.
I WILL sell at high prices. (Want a BMW? Well, it aint free my friend).
And I’ll do so WITHOUT a care in the world.
Because guess what.
I market well.
But I can back that shit up, hehe.
My products ROCK. Everyone knows it!
And thats what really counts I.e the stuff you buy WORKS.
Get on the train NOW.
PS – And remember, the ship membership is a ONE Time fee that gets you access to EVERYTHING we have digitally – for life! (provided your membership stays ACTIVE).
PS #2 - - I was going to do pull-ups and handstand pushups, but ditched the idea at the last minute, and did some BEAST workouts from Animal Kingdom Workouts. Now, I can barely type after a THREE minute workout!
And my core feels like STEEL – more so than ever!
My products are truly the best, BRO. BY FAR. NO-ONE does it like I do, and puts out such challenging stuff, and yet EASY if you DO the thing.
I CHALLENGE you to find ONE better!
(As a customer said “I truly KNOW what it means to be a beast and turn YOU into one!)